Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
