he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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