I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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