I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
