I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize