Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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