So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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