This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
