after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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