In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
