why didn't you poke me back
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
