im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
