nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
