I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Randomize
