I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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