I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
