his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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