tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
It's just like the Real World with babies
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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