you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
