I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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