like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
