And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize