this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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