Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
