I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
