Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
