Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
