she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
