There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
