This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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