why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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