You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
