I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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