Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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