Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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