I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
