Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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