My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize