i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
