6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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