God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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