the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
