): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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