Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
