i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
