Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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