Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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