I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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