I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I think people are normalizing furries
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
