whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
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