what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
