Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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