if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
