Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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