I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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