Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
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As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
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Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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