You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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