they need to just BURY HIM!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
