The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
