Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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