Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
